Waiting For Perfection

It seems that I am always waiting for perfection before going the next step. What steps are those? I don't know...pretty much everything.

I can't blog about that because the pictures aren't perfect...

I can't take pictures of my living room to blog about because it isn't perfect...

I can't get family photos because my weight isn't perfect...

I can't be happy with my accomplishments...because for every accomplishment there are 10 imperfections lurking in the shadows...

I can't ask for sponsors for my blog because it isn't perfect...

I can't have friends over because my house isn't perfectly clean...

I can't go do something fun today because I have a house that is not perfect...

Does anyone else do this to themselves? Sabotage yourself from success? Miss out on life because you are too caught up in the imperfections? I never thought in a million years that I would be considered a perfectionist. If you glance around at my house you will not think so either...or so I thought. In fact, many people who visit my home say "You are a perfectionist aren't you"..."You are so organized". I completely laugh out loud when I hear this. Yes...I have good intentions toward being organized. I have signs and lists that tell where things are to go. I have certain ways dishes need to be done and where they need to be put away at. My pantry is organized. My clothes hang according to color...and according to short sleeve/long sleeve...jeans/slacks. However...if I don't have time to make it perfect...I don't get it done. As in...I actually enjoy laundry when I am on top of it. But let me get behind about 10 loads and instead of getting off my duff and getting it done...I get overwhelmed and do the opposite and shut down. It becomes too much for my brain to process and I do just the opposite. I close the door and avoid it at all costs. Until I hear "Honey...do I have any clean underwear for work?" or..."Mom...I don't have any clean clothes, and I have worn these jeans twice already". 

I even feel like I need to delete that whole last paragraph because at the recent blogging conference I attended they said if my paragraph is longer than 2 to 3 sentences...then you are not going to read it! They also said we need to stop using "!!!!" and ":)" all the time. 

Are you seeing a theme here? There are a whole lot of "I Can'ts" in the above writing. I can get stuck in them pretty easily. This is where my brain naturally goes. I feel like I am still in a season of change though. That season of being "unlocked" that I previously wrote about. Even though I still have these negative thoughts that paralyze me from success...I am recognizing those thoughts more and more...and beginning to have the ability to stop them...or change the course of them. Starting to give up some of my stubborn ways. Realizing that my home doesn't have to be perfection. Realizing that the only person that can make other people happy...is that person them-self. I am not the source of people's demise. I am who God created me to be. He didn't make a mistake when he made me. Why did he give me the ability to see so many imperfections? Maybe I am to help others who struggle with the same things? 

Imperfections are hard. Imperfections are real. Imperfections are OK. Imperfections are a part of life. Imperfections are no surprise to God. Imperfections do not define me.

I am imperfect. I am perfect in His eyes.