Not Me! Monday!

http://www.mckmama.com/

I have been sick...I mean so sick I went to the ER Saturday night sick...and since I've been sick, my dear husband has been in charge of the kids while I have been zombied out on meds and sleeping lots and lots. Which has been great! However, I am not totally and utterly heartbroken now because my 17 month old wants NOTHING to do with me! He will not come to me, he waves and says "bye-bye" when ever I come near him. All he wants is daddy. I did NOT try to bribe him back to me by giving him his Easter toys today...Nope, not ME! I would never bribe my childrens love! Cause I definitely know better to know that the second Daddy goes back to work tomorrow, he will be my baby again. I don't think his mommy hiatus has anything to do with the fact that mommy looks like she has been ran over by a truck...oh no...I don't think it has anything to do with the slight sickness stench that has bestowed upon my body. Nope, not me!

It is not me who is wondering if I can pull of being sick another day just so my husband will continue to do laundry and clean the house! Not me! I wouldn't be so sick that I could care less if my whites are now pink and my pants are now size 2's!

PS...it is not me! Who hasn't blogged for an entire month! Seriously..an entire MONTH! Crazy! Somehow with not blogging I still received new followers! How exciting!

How about you? What have you not done this week? Care to confess not confess, then join in on MckMama's Not Me! Monday!

Not Me! Monday

Head on over to Mckmama's blog to check out more fun Not Me! Monday posts! All the rules about joining in....if you should choose to join in...are right there on her blog. Come on..you know you wanna!

I was not totally elated when I woke up this morning and found that my husband had left his laptop at home on accident. I did not totally think about texting him to remind him that he had left it here...but then decide against it because the longer it is here the longer I can use it. I would never be so selfish...not me! A good loving wife would run right over to his office and deliver it, along with a wonderfully cooked lunch, all fancied up in my dress and pearls. I am not really sitting here in my fleece Christmas pajama top and a pair of cacky pants because that was all that was upstairs available to me. I would not be so lazy that I don't want to walk all the way down the stairs and back up again just to get a clean pair of clothes.

I did not ask my husband last night what he would like me to be wearing when he gets home from work this evening. I did not say this in a admission of guilt that I don't always have myself looking put together by the time he gets home, and I know that I should attempt to be nicely put together daily...not every 3 or 4 days. Not me! My husband did not also tell me that he would like to have something other than chicken because chicken is all we ever eat. Nope, I have creative healthy meals always cooked and sitting on the table when he gets home. I never cook chicken and sautee veggies nearly every night lately because it is the easiest....and because when I go outside of that routine it is easier for me to faulter with my weight loss journey.

Speaking of my weight loss journey...I did NOT gain 5 pounds back while on my week like trip to Florida with my husband. I did not throw caution to the wind and just eat whatever I wanted. Every full flavored, full fat, fully buttered, salted, sugared food item that was set before me. I did not look forward to the meals than anything else on the entire trip...even more than shopping!

Did I mention that right before our trip that I found out that the hard drive on my laptop crashed?!?!?!!? Did I mention that I didn't have ANY kind of back up on my computer for all the pictures, videos, spreadsheets, documents that I have created in the last year! Did I mention that I totally blamed MY HUSBAND.. wait a minute...NO I didn't! I would never do that! I would never blame someone else for their incisting that I have my computer looked at...I would never not own up to the fact that it really is my fault that I never got around to backing up my files. I would never blame it all on the fact that my husband decided to "fix" my computer and add an application that was supposed to speed it up...but instead it messed it up and caused the need for a fix.

Here is the best part...I totally did not feel a little relief when I remembered that I have a bazillion photos uploaded to my Facebook account. Never did I think that Facebook would be my backup photo system. Not ME!

Not me! Monday

Yeah!!! One of my favorite times of the week! Getting to reveal some "not so pretty" moments in my life! If you want more information on joining the Not me! Monday blog carnival, go here. Mckmama created it...and I LOVE it!

Drumroll please....

I did not wait to long to send out birthday party invites for my son's first birthday that we relied on our Facebook event invitation to get the job done! I did not forget to call the people that are not on Facebook to invite them until the week of the party..Nope, not me! I would never do something so tacky.

My husband & I did not declare that buying our son a birthday present was not necessary because we just don't have room in our small home for anything else. I was only 1/2 serious when I agreed that we didn't need to buy anything. I did then not wait until the last minute to get him anything and then declare "oh...I will just wait until we see what all he gets" before getting him a present. I most definitely have still not bought him anything for his birthday. Not me! It's his 1st birthday for pete's sake (who is pete anyways? Why do we say this?)!

I of course had months to plan for this day...so I most certainly did not wait until the day before to get everything done for the party. I did not have to stay up til 1:00 AM to get everything done. I did not flip out on the morning of the party when my husband slipped into a warm leisurly bath to RELAX! What! Relax! On the morning of a party...at my home! Don't you know people will be here any minute...and you slip into the bathtub to relax! I did not purposely come in and out of the bathroom for various "important" reasons, just to let a breeze in and shorten his relaxation time...because nobody should be sitting back relaxing before 24 people come to our home! Not me! I would not totally fit the "Queen" status before company comes over. So much so that I think my husband purposely schedules himself to be busy around these times so that he doesn't get put to work. :)

I did not start this cake...

at 10:00 AM on Friday and between trips to the grocery store, naps and feeding for baby, freezing between layers and so on...did not take me until 10:00 PM to finish the cake! I was not sooo proud of this cake that I made everyone wait anxiously as I took a million ok, maybe just 15 pictures of this cake! (If you want the recipe, go here).

Not Me! Monday

~Not me! Monday was created out of Mckmama's desire to admit or...ahem...deny her imperfections. She then invites all us bloggers to join in on the fun! Go here if you would like to join Mckmama's blog carnival! Oh...and there is a prize this week on her blog!

I did not make my son strip down to his underwear in the freezing cold rain when he came home from football practice like this: I did not have to wash this uniform twice just for it to look somewhat decent. I did not worry that other parents would think I didn't wash it because it still looked dirty. I also have not considered leaving them in their somewhat dirty state when I turn them in on Wednesday...because it was NOT my fault they let the kids slip and slide in the mud! Not me! I wouldn't make someone else scrub my child's uniform out of spite!

My child did not sneak in the door and creep through the house (tracking mud every step of the way), jump out and say...DO YOU WANT A HUG??? I did not completely flip out that he tracked mud all through the house all over the door handles. I did not then go grab my camera in true blogger form to make sure I had evidence to blog about. Not me! I don't take pictures with my blog in mind?

Speaking of pictures, I have not been taking multiple pictures a day of my baby who is turning 1 in just a few short days....thinking that I need to capture his last few days as a "baby"...refusing to call him my 1 year old. Refusing to think of him as a toddler. Not me! I totally embrace that he is growing and learning. I don't totally wish that I could just hold him and never let him go.

My husband & I did not giggle and make jokes about my son's teachers choice of words when teaching his class today. When teaching the class about Sodom and Gamora (spelling? too lazy to look it up)...and talking to them about the homosexual actions that were going on during that time in the Bible. His teacher who can be on the shy side...chose to use the word "attack" instead of "sex" when explaining the story to the kids in class. It was not my child who rose his hand and said "what do you mean...attack"...it is not my child who knew full well what she meant but was just trying to get her to say it. Nope...not my child!

To read more Not Me! Monday posts....go here. You won't be sorry!

Not Me! Monday!

If you would like to join in on Not me! Monday...go here.

I was not so totally excited about my trip to Mudd Lake to meet Mckmama that I did not use exclamation points abusively in every email, twitter, or fb update for at least two weeks. Nope...not me!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! I am not still on such a high of meeting so many women that I had so much in common with that I am still on cloud nine. I was not so giddy by the time the night was over that I could not get to sleep when I got back to the motel...and was not so totally pumped that I dreamt I was at Mudd Lake with everyone all night long!

All day Thursday on my way to Minn...I did not have my own rendition of "We're off to see the Wizard" from the Wizard of Oz going through my head. If I did...I would not have possibly changed the words to.."We're off to see Mckmama...the wonderful mama of blogs..because because because because becaaaaaause....because of the wonderful things that she does!"

I would never compare my dear friend Mckmama to the Wizard of Oz! Not me!

I did not wait 6 hours to use a restroom on Friday not because of my fear of port-a-potties. Nope! I would never abuse my kidneys like that! I did not monitor my liquid intake closely as to not cause me to have to use the port-a-potty! Not me!

I did not throw a momentary hissy fit when I got home and found that my husband had hired someone to clean our home from top to bottom! I did not momentarily freak out thinking of all my stuff that had been moved or broken or rearranged or or or or.....think about all the stuff that I was going to have to redo because it wasn't done how I do it. I would never be so shallow to completely wipe out a beautiful moment like my husband doing something so thoughtful and amazing. I did not possibly scare my husband into never wanting to do something like that for me again. I did not feel like a complete loser when I saw my laundry room and how clean and beautiful and sparkly it was! I am NOT plagued with guilt still...and I will NOT be cooking a wonderful meal for my family tonight to attempt to recover my tantrum. Not me! I am such a classy even-tempered gal that I would NEVER do any of the above!

I did not take this photo while driving down I35 on my way home from Minnesota. I definitely know the dangers of distracted driving and would never do something so risky just to capture a cute moment and blog about it! Not me!

I do not start out my Not me! Monday posts always thinking that I don't have enough to do a post, and then always writing more than anybody possibly wants to read! Not me!

Not me! Monday

Have you ever wanted to tell someone about the embarassing or silly thing that you did...but worried what others would think? Mckmama created this blog carnival just for the sake of getting to admit our imperfections..er..hmm...I mean...do discuss things that we would absolutely NOT do! If you would like to join in...go here. It is fun! Read others while you are at it.

I did not totally forget about Not Me! Monday until I read Mckmama’s tweet just a few now. Not me! I am always thinking ahead and totally prepared.

I did not pay $20 for a 14 year old girl to sit and watch TV while my baby slept soundly for the night so that my husband and I could go out 4 hours for a date. I would not want to pay a babysitter so well that she will drop anything to come and sit for baby anytime we need her. I wouldn’t be thinking ahead like that and thinking it was almost like bribery. My 11 year old did not later ask me…did you actually pay her to watch TV??? And he did not then ask why we didn’t just let him be the babysitter so that he could get paid to watch TV. It did not take me 11 months to figure out that not leaving for a date until after baby is in bed for the night would be the best solution!

I did not start a money jar and tape, Minnesota Trip, to the front of it…to start saving my pennies for Minnesota trip in a few weeks. I have not been having so much fun saving this money this way, because it is guilt free and MY money…that I have been now thinking of things that I could sell just so I can go shopping!

I did not just waist valuable time straightening my hair, knowing full well it is pouring outside and that it will be frizz ball in no time. Not me! I know better and know that the ponytail is the way to go.

Recently on our way home from church, my 11 year old did not proclaim that he really had to go to the bathroom and that he called “dibs” as soon as we got home. (Only 1 bathroom)…I did not think that he was exaggerating and thing he was being funny…he then did not proceed to poo in his pants because I stopped to tickle him on the way in the house. I would not, not listen to my child and believe him and cause him to do this! Not me! I then did not make him clean up his own mess because I was so grossed out! Not me! This mama changes diapers all day long and should be accustomed to cleaning poo at any given moment, no matter who it is…

I did not request a realtor to come to our home to do a market analysis, just to prove to my husband that sinking more money into our home as opposed to just buying a larger home is crazy! I would never go to such lengths just to prove my husband wrong! After all he is the head of our household and knows all, and I should just submit to what he says. ;o) I do not go through this phase of house searching and dreaming about once a year at least! I do not often lose sight of our goals of being a young debt-free family by living within our means and staying put until we can pay cash or large down payment for a new home. I would never go through bouts of discontent like this…because I know better! Not me!

Not Me! Monday

To read more "Not me" Monday blogposts, go here. You will not be sorry, you will laugh, maybe cry...but most likely laugh!

I did not search frantically for my cell phone, which was on silent, for over 30 minutes...only to find that I had tucked it in my BRA! I would not be that absent minded! Nor would I use my bra as a pocket! I also would not go into public with my phone in my bra because I had forgot to put it in my purse...and then get embarassed when it started to ring and tried to discretely remove it!

I am not so totally excited for the Mckpicnic that I wish it was here already! I would not be crazy enough to go meet up with a group of people I met on the internet! Because they are probably all axe murderers...right!? I would not have to start my conversation with my mother, when asking her to tag along, with..."I know what you are thinking, and don't worry they are not serial murderers." (btw, please don't prove me wrong!)

I am not so bad at getting things done on my "to do" list that I had to tape my list next to the TV so that it was unavoidable.

My 10 month old is not, yet again, eating paper while I type my Not me! Monday post!

I do not take pictures of myself when I think that I "look good", I would not be so vain...or maybe it's because I don't get myself ready often enough! I would not then, of course, add that picture to my post...like this...

I would never let my 10 month old eat spaghetti on his own just for the photo opportunity! I would then of course not take a picture like this of a noodle stuck in his nose...

Have a GREAT Monday! And may you be inspired to post things that you

would NOT do on my comments!