The Boob Machine

This week while doing child taxi duties:

My 20 month old: “Miwk!” (Milk)

Me: I am sorry Harrison mommy doesn’t have any milk in the car.

My 4 year old(River): Yes you do mommy, you have milk in your boobs.

Me: Actually mommy doesn’t have any milk anymore, it is all gone.

River: Oh, Harrison drank it all gone?

Me: (Relieved that I don’t have to explain) Yes! That’s it! Harrison drank it all gone.

River: Well you will just have to add more milk.

Me: Mommy can’t add any more milk. The milk comes from my body, I can’t add to it.

River: Well you will have to use your boob machine to add more milk.

Me: hmmmmm…..Finally dawned on me he is talking about my breast pump! So now I am thinking everytime he saw me using the “Boob Machine” he thought I was ADDING milk!

Me: Well that machine is used to take milk out of mommy…I can’t put milk in with it.

River: Ohhhh….well only mommy’s can feed babies with their boobs.

Me: Yes, only mommy’s can feed babies with their milk.

River: Well some boys can to, they just use the boob machine.

Me: I relent.

Later in that same car ride:

River: Mommy...do you sleep naked?

Me: Hides and closet and locks door.