Nearly one year I was thrust into a position that caused me
to re-evaluate my entire life. My purpose, my skills, my gifts…they were all
questioned. Satan really tried to knock me out during that time causing me to
doubt every single thing I knew about myself. First, I went through a month
long depression. Sleep was much easier than dealing face to face with my
circumstances. Then I was hit with back to back illnesses ending with pneumonia.
I was physically and emotionally beaten.
During this time I had no choice but to draw nearer to God.
Children still need fed, my husband still needed a wife, praise and worship at
the church still needed to be led.
As I dug deep with God to get to the root of these issues
here is what I learned:
As a child…all I ever wanted to be when I grew up was a wife
and mother. I have that. All of that….but yet not feeling fulfilled. I learned
that all of those committees, groups, etc that I became a part of were an
escape for me to get away from parenting…because that which I wanted the most…I
was also the most afraid of failing.
After a season of reflection and re-prioritizing….and giving
birth to our fourth son. Things couldn’t be more clear that being a homemaker
is my calling.
For the next 31 days I am joining in with The Nester and
many other people with a writing challenge. Becoming a refined homemaker for me means really digging my heals in and embracing all that being a wife and mother have to offer. Talking about the challenges, rejoicing in the joys. I hope to develop my homemaking skills by refining or processing out all the impurities of my home. This can be mothering, being a wife, decorating, decluttering, laundry, cooking....anything that comes with being a homemaker.
Thanks for joining in on my journey to become...a refined homemaker.
I always wanted to be a wife and mom too. And I am. I also struggle with depression. What a great thing to try to improve upon.
ReplyDelete